Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Perkins, Revisited
A couple of months ago Jackie and I went to a Perkins resturant for dinner. I wrote about our experience in the LaBarge Family Blog, but thought you all might be interested in our return visit last night. The last time we dinned there we had to endure background music which I would describe as 1950's hillbilly country. Hillbilly country is when you can hear the twang of the string on the washbucket bass, and where not only did the dog die, but his last pathetic howling breath is somehow incorporated into the lyrics.
-
Well, last night we were out and without thinking I suggested that we stop at Perkins for dinner. The waitress led us to our seat in the non-smoking area, where an overhead fan seemed to draw in smoke from the rest of the place. Across from us was a young couple with their baby, and the lady looked quite a bit like my niece Heidi, except not as cute and about a foot and a half taller. Tall Heidi proceeded to talk very loudly to her baby in the following manner. Imagine trying to roll our R's when talking, except substitute a G, and talk from the back of your mouth. "Uhggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg", she told her kid, followed up with a sound that requires you to put your lips together and blow out air while talking with a P sound. "Pwbbbbbbbbbbb". And then in a lower tone, but still loud baby talking voice, "You awre such a cwute wittle babB!" Over and over she went on, "Uhggggggggggggggggggggg, Pwbbbbbbbbbbbbb, You awre such a cwute wittle babB!" I found myself holding my hand over my glass of water.
-
Then, while sittle there, this creature walks into the dining area. Think about what the offspring of Ronald McDonald and Big Bird would look like, only this creature is vertically challenged and weighs about 275 lbs. Neon colored yuellow pants, neon colored orange accents and blouse, and a brighter colored yellow afro style hair-doo. Oh yes, and she had a white painted on clown face and was carrying a little basket. She approaches the couple across from us, and in a high pitched voice, asks; "WHAT A CUTE BABY, TEE HEE. I lean over towards Jackie and say in a low voice, " I thought I requested seating in the NON-clown area". Now, truth be told I've had an adversion to clowns ever since we hired one for Missy's 9th birthday and we got a drunk guy in a clown suit, unshaved for 3 days under his white face, and all the little 9 year old girls hugged each other tightly. The clown creature goes to another part of the dinning area, large plastic feet flooping as she waddles, and spots two families with little kids. One small 4 year old screams and runs to the back of the room, and a 2 year old clutches her parent and says "MOMMY!" However, the clown soon gets things under control by hauling out some ballons from her basket, blowing them into long shapes, and twisting them into other balloons, all the time saying in that same high pitched sing song voice; "WOULD YOU LIKE A WITTLE BUNNY WABBIT HAT! TEE HEE TEE HEE. Soon all the little kids are wearing bunny wabbit hats, and the resturant is filled with an amazing combination of squeaking sounds from the ballons and warnings from the parents to their offspring to not put the ballon hats in their mouths.
-
I have no idea what the background music was last night. Jackie looked at me and said, "Are we acting like all those grandparents we used to see when we took our kids out to eat?" No, last night was bizzar.
# posted by Bob @ 10:09 PM 
Comments:
<< Home
Oh my gosh Dad- hilarious! I do remember the drunk clown at my birthday party. That could scar a kid, you know?
You know, I remember the clown.. but I had NO IDEA that he was drunk (I guess I thought all clowns were like that). I do also remember the blue cake with purple frosting that Missy requested.
that is a great restaurant story. I ave a good deal of those kind of stories. Somehow they have to do with Denny's.
Post a Comment
<< Home
