Johnson Family

Over the past years I've road tested quite a few people from India. They are all computer engineers or their spouses who have 6 month to 2 year contracts with a local company who manufacturers automobile interiors. Last year on a test one of them mentioned that he was working at JCI, and I replied that I had tested quite a few Indians that were contracted there. "I know" he said in that English/Indian dialect, "Mr. Bob, you are quite a legend over at JCI."

Usually I enjoy testing these Indian clients because they are always very polite and I learn some interesting stuff about India. One time I was testing a woman and asked her where they could find a good Indian resturant and after she tells me she mentions that "You know, we have Pizza Huts in India, but they only serve vegetarian pizzas." I asked her if she was Hindu and thus a vegetarian and she said that although she was Hindu, her family made an exception and everyone in her family was allowed to eat chicken. "But not cow, you know we think cow is sacred, like a god." So I point to the little statue on the dashboard, which is an elephant sitting down on its rear end with all four legs pointing forward, and say "Then you probably cannot eat elephant either. Which is too bad because I would guess that one elephant could feed a village for a week." She started giggling, thinking, I'm sure, how absurd a thought that was.

This week however I had an Indian guy who was annoying from the first minute he walked into my office. Godfrey kept asking me these off-the-wall questions about driving, most of which I had no clue what the answer was. "Mr. Bob, may I ask you a question," and after a while I started responding "WHAT?" And a typical question would be - "If there are three lanes, should not the trucks be in the first two lanes?" And after I explained what I knew about it he would respond, "But we were in Chicago last weekend and there were trucks in the third lane." "Oh really?" I said. At that point I tried very hard not to have any more conversation with the guy.

We got to the point in the test where we needed to leave the highway. During the week there was construction at the exit, which moved us to the left lane, and we needed to get move right very quickly after the last construction barrel. I would explain how to everybody that week and no one had a problem, but Godfrey kept driving on pass the exit. "Turn right here! Turn right here!" I pleaded, pointing to the exit, but Godfrey, looking a little confused and like he was fighting with the steering wheel, motored on. "You know" I said, realizing that the next exit was in Saugatuck, 13 miles away, "In seven years you are the only person TO MISS THAT EXIT." At this point I'm telling myself that I am a professional and that I need to act calm. After we go a mile we pass a drive thru for authorized vehicles only and I wonder if maybe we don't really have to go an extra 26 miles, so I say to Godfrey "Stay in the left lane and slow down when we approach the next drive thru to the other side." Godfrey is silent for about 20 seconds and then says "Mr Bob, may I ask you a question?" "WHAT?" I respond. "Is not that illegal?" And I'm thinking that of course it is you @#$%! But I remain in control, chuckle to myself, and decide to enjoy the rest of the detour.

At least, as fate would have it, Godfrey didn't stop until 3/4 of the way thru a 4 way stop on the way back, and failed the test. Saturday Jackie ended up with him for his retest. I asked her afterwards how it went and she said that he was very annoying. "He kept saying "Miss Jacqueline, may I ask you a question?"