Thursday, March 09, 2006
To Sister Lisa, AKA "The Flying Nun"
Carrie went skydiving when she was about your age. I'll give you the the same advice that I gave her. When I was young I use to have dreams where I would be falling toward the ground. In the dreams I would think at the last moment that if I would jump UP a few feet before hitting the ground then I would be OK. AND IT WORKED! Always a soft landing, although I would then wake up on the floor beside my bed. So if your chute for some reason doesn't open then at least you have another option. I was also wondering that if you are on the bottom of the world and jump out of an airplane then you will actually be falling in the opposite direction that Carrie did. At least we hope that is what happens. Hate to lose you. Love, Uncle Bob.
# posted by Bob @ 5:47 PM 
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I'm sorry to intrude upon this family conversation, but I happened upon Becky as tears of laughter were running down her face. After reading the cause of such joviality, I had to throw my "expert" opinion into the mix. Forgive my intrusiveness...
In regard to the "leap-before-you-smash idea" I assure you, its quite true. I've been reading up on the subject and have found that the "post-impact-reverse-thrust" technique actually improves one's odds of survival by at least 30%. It has to do with the "Memmenbvivelle Principle of Gravitational Opposites". (write that down, or I suppose you would write it UP if in Auckland)
From the Milwaukee Journal of Award Winning Scientific Journals:
...during downward acceleration the gravitationally magnetic fields pulling down on one exert a force that is directly proportional to the inverse square root of Memmenbvivelle's variable factors. ([(XQR*0/ZR ratio)+ GPC] - not completely accurate due to the lack of mathematical symbols available on blogger.com's "leave your comment" section) Using a reverse thrust exactly 3.987003214563876 seconds before impact will reduce the gravitational pull by appoximately 9.782 PSI. So, Bob, Memmenbvivelle clearly proved that the "jump right before you splat" method could save your life when in a chute malfunction "pinch". I'm just surprised that someone with no "chute pinch" education/training would dream of such a thing. Holy Spirit inspired if you ask me...just sayin'
Submitted by Daniel Claudio, PhD Physics/Chute Pinchology
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In regard to the "leap-before-you-smash idea" I assure you, its quite true. I've been reading up on the subject and have found that the "post-impact-reverse-thrust" technique actually improves one's odds of survival by at least 30%. It has to do with the "Memmenbvivelle Principle of Gravitational Opposites". (write that down, or I suppose you would write it UP if in Auckland)
From the Milwaukee Journal of Award Winning Scientific Journals:
...during downward acceleration the gravitationally magnetic fields pulling down on one exert a force that is directly proportional to the inverse square root of Memmenbvivelle's variable factors. ([(XQR*0/ZR ratio)+ GPC] - not completely accurate due to the lack of mathematical symbols available on blogger.com's "leave your comment" section) Using a reverse thrust exactly 3.987003214563876 seconds before impact will reduce the gravitational pull by appoximately 9.782 PSI. So, Bob, Memmenbvivelle clearly proved that the "jump right before you splat" method could save your life when in a chute malfunction "pinch". I'm just surprised that someone with no "chute pinch" education/training would dream of such a thing. Holy Spirit inspired if you ask me...just sayin'
Submitted by Daniel Claudio, PhD Physics/Chute Pinchology
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